


Consequences of Fools

by Nightlock



Series: Kings of Kyrat [4]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 4
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25858069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightlock/pseuds/Nightlock
Summary: Ajay has a hard time sleeping due to nightmares and when he decides to leave to go for a late-night walk to help calm his nerves it leads him to Pagan instead. (Post game, canon-typical language and themes)
Relationships: Ajay Ghale/Pagan Min
Series: Kings of Kyrat [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/319319
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	Consequences of Fools

**Author's Note:**

> Not necessary to read any of the other fics in the Kings of Kyrat series but it would add more context. I think.
> 
> I have been struggling to get back into writing for a long while but glad to be back. After the announcement of FC6 (which I’m hyped af about) it awakened that push I needed to get back into writing FC again. I struggled more with finding an idea I could and wanted to write with this ship than I did motivating myself tbh so hope this was worth it and I hope you enjoy.

There was nothing but darkness. It was so deep Ajay could swear he felt formless. Similar to Schrodinger’s cat it’s proof of existence, or lack of, concealed by the unknown depths of darkness between knowing and not knowing. Existing and not existing felt like two valid realities as there was nothing but pitch black everywhere. Ajay couldn’t see as far as his eyes could process nor his hand in front of his face. The weightlessness of it all was comparable to being in the air. It was eerie as it was silent and anxiety seeped inside beating in his chest, like a heartbeat, whispering fears in his ear. It was a dangerously close feeling like being smothered or confined-claustrophobia without the closed in walls-and Ajay could hear his pulse in his ears; his frantic breathes born from the unknown. He tried walking in a direction, any direction, but it didn’t seem to matter; his feet stumbling about to try to find evidence of anything even if he couldn’t see it. There was nothing but black space and the essence of a ground beneath his feet. 

Ajay would feel like he lost his damn mind if the echoing sound of his footsteps wasn’t evident enough that he was existing somewhere. Wherever 'somewhere' was. He had form as far as he could tell and each step was a reminder. A necessary reminder, his situation comparable to staring in a mirror for too long. After awhile the face changes and memorized features gradually distort into a amalgam of mess or some creature. Ajay’s grip on reality was distorting just the same. Even within the darkness and lapse in gravity, comparable to being in space probably?-he could still hear his shoes make contact and there was a sense of relief though subtle. He was somewhere but where exactly? 

Before Ajay could contemplate further there was a sudden flicker of light a few feet ahead that sparked to life like the sparks when metal struck flint. Two lights to be exact that were parallel to each other with only a few feet of distance between them. They were small, orange wisps of fire that cut through the cold, deep darkness but only reached a small radius and it revealed…nothing but floor between them. Ajay approached the fire wisps all the same and a few feet before reaching them another pair appeared ahead of the first two. He kept walking and it continued creating a path of warm light. 

After what felt like an endless walking loop Ajay stopped when the wisps stopped appearing, standing between the last set. It was the end of the line and beyond that was vast, intimidating, dark nothingness. Ajay wasn’t even sure if there would be ground with the next step, but he took it though with trepidation. When his foot finally made contact with the ground the entire space lit up like a burst of flames peeling back the darkness like leaves being blown about. It was a magnificent, blinding light he avoided by shielding his eyes with his arms; eyes shut tight.

A gong chimed that woke Ajay from his caution. He opened his eyes to peak through his arms and was greeted with sight of a room. He relaxed and looked around to see behind him was a large, mahogany wood door now shut and the space he occupied was now surrounded by walls that reach far and high. The light cast was dim and warm like the wisps from before though the source was unknown, similar to candlelight. Said light revealed a very traditionally furnished Kyrati room with expensive furniture and décor of reds, gold and contrast of cooler hues in the more intricate designs. Some of the most expensive looking fabrics were decorated about at the corners of the walls, draping down like curtains where windows might have been as well as covering tables and stools. It was a mini palace if Ajay had anything to compare it to. Ancient thangkas dressed the walls and treasures were stacked and littered against the edges of the room. It was almost like a treasure vault. A deep red, wool carpet unraveled from in front of where Ajay stood and it rolled all the way out to the other side of the room. Another path leading to what looked like a shrine; a tall silhouette standing in front obstructing the full view of the shrine’s display. 

It was a familiar space-too familiar-the smell of incense penetrating Ajay’s senses and burning his eyes. Ajay swallowed to try to rid himself of the lump in his throat and with quickened steps he hurried towards the shrine. When close enough he could see a pink paisley suit jacket and maroon dress slacks posed with that poise confidence that could be identified by the blind. When Ajay was close enough he reached out grabbing at the shoulder and when the silhouette turned around it revealed what Ajay already knew, Pagan Min, but he was smiling something eerie with blood dripping from…a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. Streams of blood casually dripped from the corner of his mouth, nostrils from his nose and the corned of his eyes as well. The vibrant saturation of his suit and hair faded almost pale and the usually clean cut appearance was gradually going ragged in front of Ajay’s eyes. 

Pagan was holding Ajay’s mother-Ishawari Ghale spelled out with indented print; urn in one arm. Lakshmana’s picture sat before them on the shrine alter but it wasn’t the same. What Ajay remembered to be the picture of a baby girl was nothing but a deathly red with a black and gold mixture dripping from the middle like running ink. Pagan’s blood droplets casually dripped down hitting the urn until it had turned red in color. Ajay’s breath hitched and before he could say or do anything Pagan had collapsed in his arms bleeding from the head, eyes and mouth before drying out into a husk that eventually became mummified then that into dust and bones. The sound of the urn hitting the floor was as loud as a gunshot; the most piercing sound Ajay had ever heard in his life. 

\----- 

Ajay woke up with a start, breathing fast and shallow like there wasn’t enough air in the world to fill his lungs. He felt a tightness in his chest that he unceremoniously clenched while his manic breathing wavered into deeper breathes but it didn’t calm the burn he felt in his lungs. Ajay needed to calm down as it was just a dream-no-a nightmare. A figment of his own mind’s cruelty. Glassy eyes danced around to witness nothing familiar to him yet nothing from his dream either. Danger didn't scream out to him so he worked through the adrenaline by calming himself down with logic and mentally reminding himself that he was okay. He wasn’t where he remembered being last which was…in the palace. Pagan’s palace though not in Northern Kyrat where he scaled to conquer the ‘monstrous dictator’ but the one he knew nothing about location wise. Right. Suddenly it was starting to flood back, his memories had backed up too far. He was residing in the ‘plan b’ of Pagan’s new life of secrecy after the fall of his regime. After the disruption of Amita and Sabal’s new regime. He was in the new location but his mind was damn near foggy on where still. 

Wherever it was it had made keeping up with time a pain in the ass. Well, at least from this wing. Some parts of 'plan b' had more exposure and access to the outside than others. Safety reasons and all that. Right, Ajay was in his quarters. He had fucking _quarters_ with a man he should hate, should’ve killed as far as he’s been programmed to believe and feel but he did neither. His mind was unraveling from the numbing haze of the nightmare and was piecing reality back together again. It was as relieving as it were strange; like reversing time to fix the shattering of a tea cup. 

Ajay reached over to turn on the lamp and leered over towards the digital clock with exhaustion to see it was still dead in the night. Blaring red digital digits seared 3:25am through his eyes and to the back of his mind; branding his brain like cattle. Recently, Ajay had been waking up around this time after a nightmare, well, more or less anyway. That nightmare in particular, with the darkness; the shrine and the death; had truly fucked him up. He could swear the sound of the urn was still ringing in his ears and the pressure of Pagan’s lifeless form weighing him down. Scrubbing his hand over his face Ajay took a deep breath then sighed. It rattled his core and by the end of it faded out sounding moist and weak. 

Ajay had…complicated feelings. Although remaining in Kyrat long after his contribution towards freeing the country from the grip of two dictators-and just the entirety of mother Kyrat forfeited by the third-Ajay had not processed a lot that affected him personally. During his journey it was almost never personal but when it ended it everything became _too_ personal. These nightmares had grown frequent as of late and it unnerved him. He wasn’t left in shock with post-traumatic stress over the many lives he’d have taken or the lies he was fed or from the manipulation and betrayal he suffered throughout his journey to fulfill his dead mother’s wishes but the loss of her had. The guilt before hand and the weight of her final moments in hospice and-

Ajay had to stop before everything started revving up again; his breathing, his heart and his thoughts. His mouth was dry and sticky so he swallowed before licking at his chapped lips. 

“Fuck…” He muttered before throwing his legs over the edge of the bed to sit up. He ran his hands through his bed head hair and sighed again. His family life was so fucking complicated. He just wanted to lay his mother’s ashes and leave but it didn’t end up that way at all. He learned so much by the one source he avoided for most of his journey. Fucked up irony of he ever identified it. 

Ajay was starting to get almost used to this routine since the nightmares had increased lately. He recalled the first few times he had jumped out of the bed-totally out of it-looking for his mother’s urn like he hadn’t already taken care of it. Other times, depending the dream, he’d traverse every corner of the damn palace to make damn sure Pagan wasn’t dead. When he did find Pagan he’d never approach or was called out-so sure of himself that he had gone unnoticed since he often found Pagan asleep-and would retreat back to his room. Or go out, whatever the time called for. 

Sometimes in his dreams the bullet hole was his doing and those were the dreams that messed him up the most. Guilt was still heavy on his shoulders. The memories of him going ballistic and almost killing Pagan at the Rhan's-but instead was a double by the end of it all-then again when his finger tightened on the trigger during their 'final' confrontation but something within Ajay decided against it at the last second. Guilt was there for many reasons but in the end it didn’t matter because it had began to feel like noise. Useless noise focusing deep on what couldn't be changed. 

Ajay was sitting in the dark, in silence, for what may have felt like hours was but a matter of ten minutes at best. His complicated feelings over his mother’s death and her Kyrati history bled into his complicated feelings he had over his…whatever the fuck he felt about Pagan. It wasn’t clear but there was guilt there as well. Like, he had majorly fucked up and was treading on his late mother’s toes, in spirit, being here in Kyrat in this palace. With Pagan. Feeling whatever the fuck _this_ feeling was. He bit at his lower lip and his eyes burned as his vision blurred. He felt like a fucking mess and a sharp pain in his chest was him missing her. This didn’t happen all the time. Not so often, waking up holding back tears, but when it happened it hit hard. It didn’t start until Ajay realized his chest was warm and sometimes tight around Pagan; the way he kind of got lost in thought staring at him when he was talking about whatever topic in the most zealous of ways. Or going on about stupid shit like why everything needed damned incense and candles. Pagan's voice being something Ajay looked forward to hearing even though he hears it. All. The. Time. It was kind of sad. 

Welp, he wasn’t getting any sleep, so Ajay decided to get dressed and maybe get some air. It was one of those times he needed to go out. Which was annoying since it was a whole deal just to leave. Fuck it, fresh air outweighed inconvenience. He needed something to clear his head, he figured. Putting on some jeans and his favorite ‘Old Navy’ jacket-not bothering to change his white undershirt-Ajay exited his room as quiet as possible. 

On his way through the main hall it was kind of dark. The only light to keep it from being completely dark were from the dimmed ceiling lights and the rays of moonlight that crept through the small, high hopper windows often open for fresh air during the day. Ajay had stopped in his tracks when he saw light casting into the hallway that was a contrasting yellow-compared to the pale moonlight-from one of the rooms. The door seemed to be half open and Ajay frowned. It was three something when he woke up and that room, based on his memory, was like a study or something? Nothing in there held agency over sleep and definately did not need immediate attention to be dealt with so late. Ajay’s mind whirled at the thought of Pagan being awake at this hour because he knew it couldn’t be anyone else. Though soldiers were always on patrol Ajay never saw them enjoy anything in the palace. They had their own quarters for when they switched shifts and the limits to where they were allowed without being prompted or given explicit permission was a list that was long. Gary was an exception since he was literally Pagan’s right-hand man, but the poor bastard was always so busy with Pagan’s business that even if he had permission to casually enjoy anywhere in the palace he probably wouldn’t by choice or time restraint...or both. The leash was tight on that one. So, the only logical conclusion was the former king himself which kind of left Ajay feeling tired. Well, more so than before. He wasn’t sure he’d be in the mood to deal with whatever Pagan was doing. 

Ajay’s feet went into autopilot as he crept towards the light as quietly as possible, stealthing, and peeked inside to see Pagan, as he suspected, sitting in some expensive as fuck leather armchair. It was one of a set that were propped around mahogany wood coffee table and both had gold studded decoration around the edges of the seams of the arm rest and short golden legs to match the studs. It honestly looked comfortable and the leather gave in and crinkled when Pagan moved. He was reading and he was not doing any of all the things Ajay could’ve guessed he’d be doing. Huh, it was fairly normal. Ajay wasn’t sure what he expected exactly but he was glad it wasn’t whatever his imagination could conjure up. Or the man just counting wealth or some shit like that old duck that dives into his vault and swims in coins; eluding death from the dive apparently. Whatever, not important. 

Pagan was sitting there with his legs crossed in his pink silk nightwear with a pair of pink slippers dressing his feet; always pink. He was positioned next to an antique styled desk, organized and clean although papers, open books and stacks of notebooks were strewn about the room’s bookshelves and edges of the walls, with a small lamp seated in the corner of the desk giving off the best angle of extra reading light. Pagan was wearing borderless glasses perched on the bridge of his nose as his eyes scanned the page of some book. A novel? Nothing academic as far as Ajay could tell. It was so strange seeing Pagan like this and it looked like a setting for like a holiday card or something. Pagan had turned the page and the scanning of his eyes started anew as his mouth slide into a subtle smirk; mumbling something to himself Ajay hadn’t been able to hear. He licked at his lips and Ajay almost made some kind of noise from his throat. It was an alluring sight to see Pagan so casual while indulging in a hobby-that didn’t involve killing-with his little quirks and all. Ajay almost sighed at how tired that sounded. Almost. 

Pagan had been so engrossed that maybe this could work in his favor. Could Ajay stealth by without being noticed? Was it worth finding out? If not, Ajay would have to detour by going to the other side of the damn palace and that was just-no. He wasn’t in the mood for it. The place was too damn big, and at this hour too dark, for fucking detours. Maybe he could head out early in the morning or something for a jog or whatever. Just as Ajay had decided to head back to his room, turning his body to head back in the direction he came, Pagan chuckled. 

“Are you just going to stand there watching me or are you going to come in?” Pagan asked with a quirk of his eyebrow as he glanced up from his book; pulling down his glasses a little down the bridge of his nose. At that moment Ajay turned back to look into the room their eyes met, and heat blossomed from his cheeks. Words were caught in his throat and he was still like a bharal caught in headlights. Ajay shouldn’t be too surprised he was noticed, peeking inside like a damn fool, but he was. So much for stealth. Fuck. 

“Goodness, boy, I was beginning to think you had something in mind,” Pagan began gesturing by rolling his hand, “I can recall many times someone had the audacity to gawk at me that hard and each time I was expecting to either be fighting off a knife or be offered dinner.” Pagan said bemused before bookmarking his page and putting his book down on the desk beside him. He then took off his glasses in a gentle but swift motion to help maneuver the strands of hair that always seem to fail to stay in place, before putting them back in their case. 

Ajay had jumped from the acknowledgement, his hand gripping the hinge side of the entryway gripping at the wood as though he’d pull it off. His face was suddenly warmer picking up the teasing quip and realized he had been staring for…a time longer than intended. Was it really _that_ long? Probably less than a minute but it felt like much longer. He said nothing, not trusting himself to speak feeling the dryness in his mouth. 

“Did you really think I didn’t notice you sneaking about like a damn racoon?” Pagan had almost felt insulted and waved his hand at the mere thought of Ajay thinking he were so daft, “Oh, come off it, Ajay, I’m far too sharp for that. You of all people should know that.” There was only the usual poise confidence and lingering amusement in Pagan’s tone. No judgement, no anger, just Pagan. Ajay swallowed and finally built up the confidence to speak and his voice not…crack. 

“…Right.” He replied flatly before walking into the study though it was a gradual process like introducing a wild animal into a new space. It kind of felt that way. Ajay was indeed walking into unknown territory, and he wasn’t comfortable with it. 

“So! What brings you to my humbled presence at this hour which is~,” Pagan glanced up at the clock on the wall-some gaudy looking thing Ajay noted-and it read ten minutes to four, “4 o’clock? Really, Ajay, we’re trying the night life now?” Ajay’s brows furrowed and the creases deepened when Pagan smiles with a crinkle of his nose and a bop of his head like he was waiting for something smart to fall out of Ajay’s mouth. Well, he was right to expect it. 

“Says the guy who was already up to catch me up at this hour.” There was a hint of annoyance that only seemed to staple Pagan in his teasing mood which Ajay ignored, “Plus, last time I checked adults didn’t have curfews.” In which he was right. And wrong at the same time considering this was Kyrat and not until recently the entirety of the country was under a regime that enforced curfews, illegalizing candles, altered currency just to fuck with people’s savings and other nonsense. Still, Ajay had a point, dammit, and he wasn’t backing down. He almost forgot why he bothered to slog himself out of his bed in the first place. 

There was a controlled silence hanging in the air as Pagan peered at Ajay with a look of expectancy. He clearly wasn’t satisfied with Ajay’s predictable response. The lad was cranky but when sleep deprived it was like a wolf that’s starving in a cage or something. It didn’t phase Pagan either way as he bobbed his crossed leg and positioned his hands on his lap just…waiting. Ajay rolled his eyes. 

“I just needed some air.” Pagan’s eyebrows stretched upward in unison, truly surprised he received such an honest answer so soon, but said nothing more. Ajay knew why it was still silent and he hated that he knew why. A man who loved to hear his own voice wasn’t silent without reason. 

“I just-I couldn’t sleep.” Pagan tilted his head forward egging Ajay on to continue with a subtle smile of patience. He had all the patience in the world for Ajay which hardly needed to be said. 

“Bad dreams.” Pagan seemed satisfied but his features softened silently conveying empathy. It’s like he could see through Ajay’s eyes, peering into his mind to read his every thought. It made him feel vulnerable so he averted his attention elsewhere. The golden handle of the desk was far more fascinating anyway. The binding of that novel was nice too but Ajay couldn’t read it. It was in fucking mandarin. That made sense he guessed given Pagan was fleunt in it. He heard it himself. 

“You couldn’t sleep.” Pagan stated soft and calmly though not for conformation but as recognition of what he heard; pulling Ajay from his thoughts and halting his wandering eyes. A forefinger tapped on Pagan’s thigh as he made a hum of acknowledgment in reply to said information and said nothing once more. Ajay felt awkward and put his hands in his jacket pockets. 

“It’s not a big deal. I just-“ 

“Can’t sleep often. Or, if we are being honest here-and we are being honest. You can barely sleep at all lately.” Pagan had cut him off and Ajay’s face furled into confusion. 

“Wha-“ 

“You really do think I’m just obliviously stumbling about, don’t you?” It wasn’t to be taken seriously but Pagan’s demeanor remained soft and quiet like the wrong move or sound could have Ajay off running which he wasn’t far off. Ajay had a tendency to do just that. 

There was silence. Pagan let that silence seep in as he uncrossed his legs to sit up, closing his eyes for but a moment as he pondered, before looking back to Ajay to consider how to word what he was going to say without spooking the boy. 

“Not that I was spying on you or anything, of course not,” he threw in at the end to ensure it wasn’t a possibility at all, “and not to put any ideas in your head but I happened to hear you on nights you can’t sleep, you see.” Pagan patted the other leather armchair to invite Ajay to sit down. Ajay stared at the seat then back at Pagan and there was silence, so he continued, “This isn’t an interrogation, my boy, just a little assistance. That is, _if_ you’re comfortable taking it.” More silence before Ajay motioned himself slowly onto the chair. The chairs were slanted in, so they were practically facing each other with but an inch of space between one of their knees. 

“Fantastic!” Pagan said with a grin, holding the pronunciation mid-word for emphasis, “Now, let’s get to it.” Pagan could practically hear Ajay ask how could he hear him, despite the silence, so he obliged the elephant in the room. Sort of. 

“Just think of it this way, Ajay. If you can see it or hear it then so can I.” That rubbed Ajay the wrong way-eyeing Pagan suspiciously-and Pagan, in return, rolled his eyes. “Goodness, boy, it’s quiet as all hell and your loud, monstrously loud at times I might add, so what more can I say? Ah, and you sneak about sometimes and I noticed. Every. Single. Time.” So, Pagan noticed after all, Ajay concluded warily. He moved his knee over to gain a little more distance between them at that admission. Pagan either didn’t notice or completely ignored it and took a deep breath. 

“Plus, if you must know, I come here to read often so if I hear you it’s not some ‘mystic power’ or… _spying_ ” Pagan spat the word as though it left a bad taste in his mouth, “There’s no need for such trite tactics. Please note that I, Pagan Min, do not spy.” There was a slight pause and a quick shift of his eyes and then back to Ajay, “Usually.” Another faint pause, “Hmm. Circumstantial at best,” Pagan tilted his hand back and forth with a squint of his eye as emphasis, “It _depends_.” Wariness intensified and Pagan sighed, “Look. It really does depend the situation but trust that I did not spy on you, my boy. You are just loud. Very, very loud. Frightfully so, actually.” Despite the detailed explanation Pagan gave off an air that he hadn’t been too concerned if Ajay believed him or not, but it was something for another time regardless. Ajay was just tired. 

“So, you heard me.” Ajay was quiet for a moment before narrowing his eyes Pagan’s way. 

“That means you already knew why I was up.” Ajay stated flatly. 

“ _Exactly_. I just wanted to hear you say it. I am a strong believer in ‘getting the facts’,” Pagan put up air quotes with quick bends of the fingers, “and what better way to confirm what I suspected than to hear it from the source? Think like a king, Ajay, it’d suit you much better. Kings don’t guess, they know.” Honest almost to a fault, which made Pagan’s face very punchable. Ajay could swear he imagined such a sudden urge but he could feel the itch at his knuckles. Well, for another time, another day. 

“…Then why were you surprised I was up now?” Pagan smiled again, mischievously unreadable as though he had all the answers in the world and how dare Ajay even think he didn’t have an answer. He was very cheeky at this hour apparently. 

“Because you usually hole yourself in your quarters,” he started as he held up his hand faintly waving of his fingers to emphasize Ajay’s flighty behavior, “like some kind of cryptid until it makes sense to be up and about to avoid suspicion. Usually around breakfast, which you’ll skip against all wishes, and then disappear for hours doing who knows what. I’d hope not shit throwing but I know sometimes things just happen. Mistakes makes us all fools but all is forgiven.” Pagan finished sounding so understanding like Ajay asked for forgiveness and it was fucking _frustrating_. Ajay wasn’t imagining a damn thing. Pagan was definitely punchable right now. A subtle tilt of his head and a raise of his eyebrow and Pagan began to speak again. 

“Am I wrong?” Pagan didn’t ask for an answer-because he already knew he was right-and he put his hand up before Ajay could start, “And no, I didn’t need to… _spy_ to figure that out. Observation is a honed skill, my boy, and not a luxury.” Pagan was honestly insulted, whether he was above spying or not, and Ajay just sighed as he leaned forward in the chair-resting one elbow on his thigh and the other rubbing at his eyes like they burned…which they kind of did from exhaustion. There was no energy for this. Not even in his reserves for bad days. Ajay gave in and decided they needed to seek the matter at hand. He straightened his posture, just enough to give Pagan the attention he’d demand regardless. 

“So, then how do you plan to help me with that? The sleeping?” 

“You mean lack of.” 

“Right.” Pagan said nothing else. 

“…The lack of sleeping.” Ajay balled a fist so he could be ready. 

Pagan intertwined his fingers and his expression suddenly fell stoic and eyes sharp. He was almost glaring. Ajay’s fist was still unwavering. 

“I don’t think you’ll talk about, in fact, I know you won’t.” Point one for Pagan, Ajay thought to himself. 

“So, I propose a technique. Something I learned that helps with nightmares.” So, he was researching this. How…long had this been something Pagan knew about? Ajay didn’t feel like he had nightmares that often. Maybe- 

“I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” Pagan says as he gets up and with that strolls out the door with an unshakable grace he was known for. So, it didn’t only come with the pink suit and snakeskin shoes. Maybe it was the pink itself. 

Ajay humored to think what Pagan would do if, for some reason, somehow, Ajay had ignored his directions and stepped out instead. He could do that. Sure, Ajay wouldn’t be thrust into the middle of another fucking civil war or anything, but he was sure patience would be run thin. It’d be funny if not entirely exhausting at the same time. Exhausting in the sense that Pagan would indeed have some means of making Ajay regret it. As ominous as that sounded even in his own mind Ajay knew it wouldn’t be anything he couldn’t handle. Maybe. 

It was no more than five minutes before Pagan returned with a small, glass bottle with a cork in his hands, clear and without any labels. Over his shoulder was a small sage green hand towel. Some pretentious shit like high thread count, a spot of a pink ‘P’ for Pagan in the corner and it looked like it was pulled from an entire set-most likely custom made-or something Ajay was sure. He was only surprised the towel itself wasn’t pink. Everything was usually pink. 

“So, for starters. Relaxation is key and the combination of aromatherapy and massage therapy is _perfect_ for those oh-so stressful situations during the day and…whatever else you’ve been through at other times be it day or night. Past, present or whatever it helps take your mind to a more…stable place to recover and all that bullshit.” Pagan begin chipper as always and by the mention of stability his tone somewhat died down. Felt like an advertisement. Ajay was wary all over again. 

“Anyway! I take it you’ve gotten a fine collection of kinks in your body and nothing like a little aromatherapy massage that will work them right out.” Pagan smiled wide enough to cause subtle crinkles at the corners of his eyes. 

“Ah, and don’t think this is like the full package or anything. I mean, I know what I’m doing and all but Gary has this down packed. I had him make the oil mixture and all the finer details like technique and let’s just say this is the answer and you can trust that I’m right because of personal experience. I slept fairly well and I’m sure you’ll get the same result.” Pagan smiled more sincere with full confidence that this was the solution to Ajay's problems. The sleeping ones anyway. 

Ajay was skeptical though. A massage for nightmares? It sounded like some fake-ass holistic bullshit if he was to be direct and honest, but he had nothing to lose giving it a shot either. Though the idea of Pagan having his hands on him, even if motivated by clinical detachment, had Ajay feel anxious inside and it showed. He squirmed in his seat-hands hiding inside his jacket pockets-as though trying to get comfortable, but it was just his nerves eating at him. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. He was sure a good portion of his problems were from whatever was straining between them-like some weird ass gravitational pull that yanked from the inside-so this could possibly make it worse. Possibly. 

“I think I just need to try to get back to-“ Ajay started but the disappointment was instant; Pagan’s enthusiasm wavered. It was subtle disappointment but it was there. The feeling of guilt began to spring back to life and Ajay rolled his eyes. _Fuck_. Why was he like this? Why did such a thing pull at his heart strings? Weak. He was weak. 

“…Just the shoulders.” Pagan relaxed and his featured softened with silent joy and Ajay could swear his heart skipped a beat. Metaphorically speaking anyway. Ajay quickly looked elsewhere enjoying the golden stubs on the chair’s arm rest. Far more interesting and less stimulating. 

“Well, that’s a huge relief, my boy. I was beginning to think sending Gary off for oils was a huge mistake.” Pagan spoke as he walked to position himself behind Ajay’s chair. He was setting up, the telling song of the cork popping off the bottle when he removed it was a dead give away. There wasn’t a quip or sarcastic anecdote, just pure honesty, and Ajay smirked. 

“I thought a king always knew everything?” Pagan laughed. It was a warm, rich sound and Ajay relaxed in his chair enjoying the warmth that spread in his chest from it. 

“Huh, I see my generous teachings are actually sticking! Wonderful.” There was unrestrained pride and Ajay could almost hear himself internally scream, “Regardless, give me a break, boy, I’m not the king anymore.” It became quiet and the two stewed in the fact before Pagan spoke again. “No. Not anymore. You, however, have no excuse. Don’t just learn. Do.” Pagan spoke half teasing and half serious. He wasn’t always so forward with admitting such a truth, being dethroned, but with a protégé like Ajay it made it much easier to accept. There was indeed pride even if it was at the expense of Pagan’s entire regime. 

Pagan gently tapped at Ajay’s shoulder a couple of times, “I know you adore looking like a fucking department store super star but your jacket. It’s in the way. More ways than one if you ask me but, I digress.” Pagan sighed out the last part as though it was a great offense. Ajay hardly had the energy or emotional capacity to be offended-though he’d tuck that away for later when he did-so he took his hands outside the pockets and shrugged his jacket off his shoulders and let it bundle behind his lower back and waist. Ajay still had his white undershirt on and realized that had to go too. He pursed his lips at the thought but steeled himself and pulled it over his head then sat it on his lap. It was awkward as fuck and he was chilled by the draft; goosebumps running across his skin. If anyone told him he’d be sitting up past 4am, half-naked, in front of Pagan Min with oils he’d have unironically laughed. Joke’s on Ajay now though, he supposed. He hugged his arms together, still resting his elbows on his thighs hunched over; for comfort, dignity and to cover hard nipples he had from the draft. Pagan tsked a few times. 

“Dear boy, you aren’t going to get results like _that_. Hunched over like you’ve got a damn bell tower to watch over. Sit up straight.” Ajay obliged with his back straightened and each hand on its respective thigh. It was quite the sight to see the muscles under Ajay’s skin adjust to the new position. Quite nice indeed but that was not the purpose behind Pagan’s orders. No, not at all. It was a nice bonus though. A very nice bonus. 

“Now, Gary was explaining to me this was a mix of jajo…jingle something oil with lavender and lemon or whatever. You just need to know that 'aroma is good'. Yes, that’s the topic of the hour.” The aroma from the oil wasn’t overbearing but it was strong enough to waft in the surrounding air. Even before Pagan applied some to his hand Ajay could smell the soft fragrance and it was…nice. Not something he’d go out of his way to wear for the day, but it was soothing. Muscles that Ajay wasn’t aware were stiff from his nerves did loosen from the scent. It was short lived when he felt the gentle, yet broad, touch of hands on his shoulders, slippery from the oil. 

It was silent as Pagan worked with his hands, starting with the top of the shoulders with a consistent rhythm of his thumb applying pressure by pressing in and working the wall of his fingers for support. The grip was concise and methodical, trying to work out any pains, knots or…whatever else plagued the body. The room filled with the soft scent of the oil mixture and Ajay had to admit to himself that it felt good. He rolled his head forward and it encouraged Pagan to move in closer towards the spine to start at the muscles around the neck. Grunts had morphed into hums of appreciation as Pagan explored moving to the inner part of the back to back out to the broad expanse of the shoulders. He had smiled with a sense of victory as the naysayer had become a believer of sorts. 

Pagan had decided to use the base of his thumbs at the expanse of his shoulder blades he felt Ajay melt under his touch. It was rather fascinating. Pagan had a lot of thoughts running through his mind as he worked at Ajay’s back-reapplying oil when needed-though when he was ready to speak nothing came out. It was rather strange to have so much at the tip of his tongue but by no means had any way to express any of it. Hmm. Strange indeed. 

Pagan kept the boundaries of strictly ‘shoulder area’ though, in his opinion, that was boring as all fuck. Still, king or no, a man had his word. He figured as he adjusted his grip and pressure. Maybe it was the time of night _or_ maybe it was the fact that Pagan, somewhere at the back of his mind, felt like one word-even a syllable-could break the spell of the room and it’d all be over. Ajay would suddenly wake up and just say forget it and then that would be that. Pagan’s intentions were all purely altruistic, he was certain of that, but he’d be the lying half of a better man if he didn’t accept that this was…intimate. Painfully so. Learning every bulge and dip of muscle, every mark, every scar was something that was satisfying and complex-given this is a career for some people may be normal by standard, but in a quiet room away from the world with… _him_ made it a little more than a clinical appointment to be sure. The occasional sounds hadn’t helped as Pagan’s hands rubbed and pressed and kneaded Ajay had become a tad more vocal. Surely not purposefully but it was noticeable. And alluring. Very alluring indeed. 

“So, my technique is a success then.” Pagan cut through the thickening tension though Ajay seemed a little dazed, hardly response save for those induced by the massage. Pagan worked back to the base of the neck here was a scar that protruded from the skin under the ear lobe. Long healed but he was curious and brushed his thumb against it and Ajay’s breath hitched. Time had stilled and Ajay had clamped his mouth shut but didn’t move. Pagan pulled his hands away like he was burned, and Ajay covered the spot with his hand. It apparently was a sensitive spot. 

“That wasn’t the shoulder.” Ajay’s voice was quiet, no hint of malice or anger. 

“Technically, you’re right.” Technically wasn’t the word. Ajay was right. Silence. More silence. Ajay took the chance to put his undershirt back on; stretching his arms out to feel a considerable difference after the massage despite the abrupt end of it. That scar was the metaphorical button that broke the dream. Dammit. 

“Well then, that should be enough. Not the entirety of what was planned but I’m sure I covered the bare minimum.” Pagan closed the cork over the jar, a good portion of the bottle now empty, and placed it on the desk next to his book. He took the towel draped over his should wiping his hands of any leftover oil; placing it next to the bottle when he was done. He sighed in deep thought rolling down his sleeves. There was an apology at the tip of Pagan’s tongue and it stayed there. 

“Goodnight, Ajay.” Pagan patted his shoulder and before Pagan could step to leave he was gripped by the wrist. Eyebrows raised and bewildered Pagan stares quizzically. 

“Ajay-“ 

“It’s sore. My neck, I mean.” Ajay wasn’t sure if he was explaining the noise or that he wanted more but the battle to decide was evident on his face. So conflicted, it’d be cute if not so damn confusing. 

“You’ll have to use words, my boy, for you see. I’m not a mind reader.” Ajay swallowed hoping he wasn’t making a mistake. He’s done a lot of that lately. He was a fool if there ever was one, Ajay thought. 

“…Can you help with it? No oil,” Ajay was feeling a little light headed from the over saturation of fragrance, “…just the same way you did my back.” Pagan smiled warmly with no objections in mind. 

“Of course.” Pagan seated himself in his leather arm chair and positioned himself slightly closer to reduce the reach. This was indeed a mistake, Ajay thought, as he tensed not knowing they would practically be facing each other. He expected getting another massage from behind like with his back. _Fuck_. Pagan either didn’t notice or decided not to acknowledge as his expression was unwavering. 

“I assume this side.” Without question Pagan reached for the side with the nick of a scar placing the palm of his hand just under it. It was like a veil of warmth enveloped the side if Ajay’s neck and he closed his eyes with brows furrowed. It was too damn awkward as though he was translucent and Pagan could see into every thought; every crease of his brain. Eyes with such intensity yet softened with a gentleness towards Ajay caused warmth to spread from his neck up to his cheeks. This was a _huge_ mistake, holy fuck. 

“Just let me know.” Was all Pagan said like that made any damn sense. Let him know what? When it was weird because it had past that mark twenty pages ago. Like an addict Ajay hungered for this touch even if it could end up bad for him. Meth was great until you lost teeth and the skin damage and crippling chemical dependency; it was like that. It would end up bad for him. 

That feeling, that fire, it was burning in his chest and oxygen was added to it every time he felt the rhythmic pressure of Pagan’s hand. Ajay’s toes bunched in his sneakers and he bit at the inside of his lip like he had to keep from saying something stupid. The fragrance of oil was still strong on Pagan’s hand and mixed with that expensive spice from Pagan’s cologne or soaps or whatever the fuck he always was coated in was making Ajay feel high. Ajay squirmed digging his fingers into the leather of the seat. 

Pagan said nothing as his massaged but Ajay’s distress-if that was the word-over it hadn’t gone unnoticed. He was soaking it all in. It was so dangerous, but Pagan would only provide as much as Ajay wanted and stop when he said. Not that he was losing anything, no, he was gaining a library of memories. 

“Ajay?” Pagan speak something above a whisper. There was silence, “ _Ajay_?” 

Ajay swallowed, opening his eyes slightly like peaking through the slits of his lids. Pagan breathed a chuckle, a rich rumble that caused Ajay to open them in full almost mortified at how much that made him feel…happy to hear. 

“Just making sure you’re still here.” Pagan teased before moving his hand further up Ajay’s neck gazing the spot with the scar though not the target; Ajay’s reaction-a subtle flinch-was sweet all the same. Pagan rested his hand up to Ajay’s face, cupping the side from his cheek to ear. Ajay eyes were wide at first and he said nothing but leaned into the touch closing his eyes again like to hide; his own hand over Pagan’s to hold it close and tight like a lifeline. What the fuck was he _doing_? The wrong thing to do, his mind screamed, but it was immediate reaction to Pagan’s gentle touch. It was given absolutely no thought, just feeling. Everything boiled over. 

“Ajay.” Pagan called quietly using his hand to get Ajay’s attention, leaning in, positioning Ajay’s face toward him. Ajay’s mind was everywhere-his nightmares, the memories, the guilt-then it all stumbled back into the depths of the forgotten in his mind like flushing them away. That moment Ajay was called he opened his eyes, watching Pagan leaning in, and he didn’t object. There lips met in a single hot second and once connected Ajay could feel heat in his stomach furl up to his chest. It was warm, soft and sweet at first like testing the temperature in a pool before diving in. It was revitalizing like water after being lost in the unforgiving heat of a desert for days. 

When Pagan pulled away Ajay had reacted immediately initiating another that was desperate, and had taken Pagan aback. Ajay grabbed just below the collar of Pagan’s night shirt to pull him in closer. What was meek, experimental, and practically chaste and warm had evolved to searing, open-mouth exploring. The metaphorical leash snapped as Ajay was overcome by instinct to just get as much as he can while the offer was on a table. Who didn’t eat all they could when at a buffet? 

Their positions teetered with Ajay leaning in causing Pagan to sit back further in his own chair; Ajay’s knee he used for balance snugged between Pagan’s thighs; adding pressure in the best of ways. It was overwhelming and deep like trying to satisfy a hunger and Ajay was fucking starving. He had taken over, pushing Pagan back angling to reach as deep as he could. Throaty moans mixed into each other; killing the silence of the room. 

When Ajay pulled back it was only after a little nip of Pagan’s bottom lip. The room was now filled with moist breathes as both worked to catch their breaths. The heat in Ajay eyes burned with an energy that compare to the focus a tiger has when ready to strike. 

“Where…where the hell did that come from? Hm?” Pagan was still catching his breath, pleasantly surprised by Ajay’s more enthusiastic approach. He inquired but the tension was as noticeable as Pagan’s pink suit. 

“Wanted to do it for awhile, I guess.” Ajay admitted so blatantly it was like emotional whiplash. Pagan smiled coyly, almost missing the confession; his heart still beating in his ear. 

“Leave it to you to always extend past my expectations. Always full of surprises, aren’t you.” Pagan regained his composure, sitting up in his chair leveling their eye level. Pagan leaned in his forehead touching Ajay’s. The gesture was as gentle as a butterfly kiss. Ajay leaned in for another kiss but it was intercepted by a lavender-lemon scented wall of fingers. Ajay backed away, clearly lost at the gesture of rejection. Pagan stared up at him almost with a hint of impish bemusement. 

“Oh, what a predicament we’ve been thrust into. While I’d love a good ride with you, my boy, it’s damn near daybreak and I am admittedly tired. Excited in all the right ways but tired.” Pagan stood from his chair and lips slide into a subtle smirk. “Also, did you forget this was a massage session to help you _sleep_? I’m afraid there aren’t any happy endings but get some sleep and then we’ll talk.” Pagan had reasoned though under ordinary circumstances it’d be free reign. Something felt a little….off to indulge a long awaited encounter when Ajay was two leagues away from himself. He cherished him far more than that to take advantage. No, he’d give the lad the time, and amount of sleep, needed to truly decide if this was a good idea or not. Also, Pagan really was tired as fuck. Not in an old man way, of course, Pagan admitted silently in his thoughts, but a ‘I’ve been up all fucking night’ kind of way. Ajay said nothing at first, the machinations of his mind felt in the air. Pagan patiently waited for him to do or say anything. 

“For heaven’s sake, I didn’t say _no_. Don’t be so dramatic.” Ajay glared at him thinking of the phrase with kettles and pots or whatever. 

“I-“ Ajay started to try to explain his headspace was far from Pagan’s raincheck but he decided it wasn’t even important to explain, “Yeah. Sleep sounds good.” Neither pushed it further and Pagan clapped his hands together, a sharp sound breaking the awkwardness left behind. 

"Well, then! Let’s try this again, shall we? Goodnight, Ajay.” A subtle bow of his head and Pagan turned to leave noticing the morning sun pouring into the hallway from the high windows. Fuck, he was sleeping in today. Thoughts of the day faded out of priority when he felt enveloped warmth around him. Ajay came behind him wrapping his arms around Pagan’s waist, resting his forehead on his shoulder. 

“....Keep me company until I fall asleep?” Not that Ajay needed it but the massage wasn’t a guarantee and he just didn’t want to drift off by himself. If he could. He felt like he could but he felt like that on nights like this before and sometimes it meant nothing. Pagan hummed out a drawn out ‘hm’ as though he was thinking it over to tease but he gave in feeling the grip at his waist tightened a little. 

“I’d like nothing more.” 

\----- 

It was pleasant. Ajay stirred in his bed-switching from lying on his right side to stretching out on his stomach, buried in the soft sea of his pillow and comforter-and he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a sense of peace. The encroaching brain fog he’d been plagued with since, well, the nightmares started had dissipated and his body felt almost light. The subtle scent of lavender wafted past his nose and he remembered the massage. 

Well, it worked as far as Ajay could tell. He was able to sleep anyway and for the first time in awhile the vivid horrors of his sleeping mind had been subdued. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. As skeptical as he was he was glad in more ways than one that he agreed to trying aroma massage therapy. Then he opened his eyes, half-lidded as he still tried to wake up, and noticed pink from the corner of his eye and sat up. 

It was Pagan sitting in one of armchairs from the study. He was sitting up with his legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles, and his arms folded. His head was leaning back as he appeared to be asleep. Right, Ajay almost forgot he was the one who asked Pagan to keep him company though he kind of expected Pagan to humor him for a moment at best-regardless if Ajay actually managed to sleep-before leaving for his own palace of a room. Ajay didn’t really remember when he drifted off either granting him no aid in figuring out how long Pagan waited or when he could’ve just left but didn’t. All Ajay could recall was Pagan’s rich, soothing voice though couldn’t recall anything actually said. It was all kind of weird but maybe Ajay was a little thankful. Last night was supposed to have been a late night walk and it became… _that_. 

Ajay wasn’t sure what to think but he felt…relieved in a way as heat in his chest started to creep up to his face. He was somewhat mortified and left unsure where his sudden bold behavior crept from but it only complicated figuring out how he feels and _should_ he feel that way. He sat up on the bed, folding his legs, trying to rub away the sleep in his eyes. Ajay was still in his undershirt and jeans, he hadn’t bothered with changing at all before surrendering himself to the bed. No energy to change after acting so impulsive. The thought had Ajay almost physically flinch. If only they’d been drinking or enjoying drugs or _something_ last night then it’d be easier to explain away. 

Staring at Pagan now in the dimly lit room Ajay noticed his face completely relaxed from sleep and he felt little better by it. Maybe. Fuck, he didn’t know. He unceremoniously rubbed at his neck where Pagan had massaged near his scar and he shuddered. It was too early for any of it. Wait, was it...? 

“…What time is it..?” Ajay thought out loud, his voice dry from just waking up, looking over to the digital clock to see it was a little past 12pm. He didn’t sleep long but it was deep and undisturbed and honestly wonderful as fuck. It was a morning, well, early afternoon that started almost dream-like. 

“Finally awake now, are we?” Ajay jumped at the sound of Pagan’s voice and whipped his head back in his direction. Pagan hadn’t moved at all and spoke again with his eyes still closed. So, this fucker pretends to be asleep? Ajay hoped he was just a light sleeper. Fuck, he _hoped_. 

“Good, though it’s about fucking time. I was beginning to think you would sleep _all day_.” Pagan stretched his arms, the position he was in not all that comfortable given how long he sat like that. He then stood up to stretch out his body making a sound of relief when the tired feeling of muscles began to wane. Ajay watched though less than amused. 

“You didn’t have to stay until I woke up.” Ajay still wasn’t sure why Pagan was still in his room. There was zero obligation but…he appreciated it. Even if this man was wearing on his nerves right now. 

“Now, now, don’t take it the wrong way, my boy. I’m truly happy for you.” Pagan sat at the edge of Ajay’s full-size bed, turning his body slightly to look to Ajay as he continued, “Just making sure you actually got some sleep, Ajay. How could I ignore such a sweet request and only oblige myself half way?” Ajay wouldn’t categorize his favor as ‘sweet’ but he appreciated the consideration all the same. The sincerity of it all had Ajay’s face warm all over again. He coughed to clear his throat and Pagan continued. 

“Anyway, you did it! Good for you, Ajay, and I can honestly say you look the part of well rested. Now keep that up like I know you can. Positivity and all that.” It was odd but positive reinforcement was nice even if it was for something as fucking simple and supposedly natural as sleeping. Ajay just let his lips slide into something of a smile and sighed with just bemused relief. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Pagan hummed appreciatory from such a concisely short response but it was just so... _Ajay_ that Pagan was pleased. More silent by choice than attitude yet approachable with less of a cranky edge from fatigue. It was downright celebratory. 

“I guess my treatment worked wonders,” Pagan stated confidently, “Of course it did, never doubt the mind of a king, Ajay. Even dethroned the mentality never wanes.” Although Pagan was correct-technically-Ajay felt it was too early, well, not so much early but too soon after waking up from a good sleep to hear Pagan go on about his victories. The sound of his voice had become background noise to Ajay’s thoughts because he was definitely still talking at Ajay in in his typical, kingly fashion. There then was an idea. 

“Next time, maybe it should-“ Pagan was suddenly cut off by hands on his shoulders pushing him down-his words muffled by lips-as Ajay ambushed him going down with him. Pagan had been maneuvered on his back in such a swift motion and Ajay on top of him, his knees straddling Pagan’s waist, the heat of their bodies mixing together. Ajay licked and playfully nipped as he was adamant to silence that Kyrat sized ego; starting back to where they left off last time. Enthusiasm was rewarded with access, Pagan allowing Ajay to delve farther in. Faint aroma from the oil last night’ latent in the air. The moist friction of tongues had the once early afternoon silence of the room broken with appreciative and encouraging moans. Pagan’s were deep and vibrating from his throat like a purr and Ajay’s were like the sound of a beast-a predator ready to pounce. It was like neither could get close enough to another. Angling their heads licking at every inch of each others mouths; both so enrapt in the taste of the other that wandering hands had no boundaries. 

Pagan’s soft, broad hands had slipped under Ajay’s shirt feeling up the sculpted tone of his abs; occasionally touching the subtle raise of gnarled, scarred skin. Ajay was the same with letting his hands find places to touch though one hand was nested in Pagan’s hair, emitting a spiciness like sandalwood, and the other under Pagan’s pajama top not surprised to be caressing smooth skin and broad hardness of muscle that softened only slightly at Pagan’s sides. 

It was a passionate exchange of sensual tasting of each other until both broke away to breathe. The moist pants of air was close enough to mingle into each other and Pagan could have bet his fortune he heard Ajay growl. Pagan’s moist, slightly swollen lips pulled into a playful smirk. 

“Always full of surprises aren’t you?” Ajay breathed out a sound of amusement. 

“Still talking, I see.” Ajay teased, taking the hand he had in Pagan’s hair down to his mouth, cupping his face; thumb pulling down Pagan’s bottom lip to see where it began to turn pink. Ajay initiated another kiss and Pagan angled himself for a another play of tongues, hands still traversing up further to Ajay’s chest. Ajay had his own expedition mind, his other hand applying a tickling touch to Pagan’s abs as it traveled lower reaching the waist of his pajama pants. Ajay breached the tied band of the pants and underwear to fill his hand with Pagan; the radiating heat of his half hard cock burning into it. Pagan’s back arched and hitched breath, a swear muffled by their kiss, at the touch and Ajay took an opportunity to dominate. He was further lapping at Pagan’s tongue into submission while he giving gentle attention. Pagan was moaning into their kiss and when the pulled away again his chest rose and fell and cheeks were tinted a faint dark red. Ajay faired no better but the sharpness of his eyes bled desire. Pagan could only melt under the scrutiny of those eyes-always weak to them-and a breathy chuckle broke the spell for but a moment. 

“Eating me with your eyes…are you? How many times have you done that now…?” Ajay’s leaned over Pagan for closer proximity, arms propped up on both side of Pagan’s head and moved in closer to whisper in his ear, “Let’s finish off together.” To emphasize Ajay grinded his crotch down to meet Pagan’s and they both responded with a swear under their breath. It was ideal to do something, the confinement of Ajay’s jeans was getting painful and apparently it wasn’t enough. Also, he just wanted to shut Pagan up and feel some relief. Two honey badgers, one bullet. 

“That wasn’t the default? Did you think we’d stop here after you’ve went through all the trouble of getting us…bothered.” Bothered? More like gotten them lathered into being horny as fuck. Also, Pagan cares now? Like Ajay hadn’t done the same last night. Not like it mattered. Ajay just made a sound of acknowledgment before he reached to undo the buckle of his jeans but Pagan swatted his hand away. Ajay repositioned teetering more to the side, his elbow digging into the mattress, for a little room to make the task of unbuckling his jeans easier. Pagan clearly insisted he do it, not wanting to miss the ‘big reveal’ which Ajay didn’t complain but was more than taken off guard by that. 

Pagan unfastened the metal buckle and worked to unzip slowly revealing Ajay’s confined cock leashed back by his underwear, painfully so. Already past hard Ajay had a spot wet of precum where the tip stretched at the fabric. He hissed through clenched teeth at the exposure after Pagan had stripped back the underwear; freeing the length in full and it was an impressive size in Pagan’s opinion. Ajay bit his lip when Pagan took the heft of it in hand from the bottom. They were around the same size more or less. Ajay had given Pagan similar treatment though easier with nothing more to do than a careful tug at the waist of the pajama bottoms and underwear; a quick mutter of a noise from Pagan’s throat from the sensation. It was clear he was in the same state as it sprung out, an heady red with precum glistening at the tip. There was mutual appreciation of each other’s dicks though brief, both in need. Ajay had returned to his original position with both knees at the sides of Pagan’s waist, aligning their cocks with one hand and propping Pagan to do the same with his corresponding hand. It was almost electric feeling the igniting sparks of contact; heated skin-on-skin. The natural scent of their bodies mixed and both knew in the silent recesses of their minds neither would last long. 

There was no need for words as both said a million with just an unseen connection through the eyes; a brief length of no more than seconds felt like minutes lost in this deep longing both pampered with the cruelty of denial. Pagan had propped himself up by the elbow to get a reach at Ajay’s collar to pull him in close; foreheads touching and the subtle space between their lips. It was far more intimate than anything they could do with their dicks…though they would still treat themselves regardless. Pagan had closed his eyes and then another kiss that was slow with it a sweeter appreciation of each other’s taste, Ajay followed suit. Heat sweltered low in their stomachs and the rush if blood in their ears as Ajay began to thrust into their hands, mouth falling open with a swear into their kiss. A rumbling moan from Pagan’s chest he added pressure with his grip. Both reacted, breaking the kiss to breathe through the building of intense, coiling heat. They moved, grinded and thrusted into the makeshift tunnel of their hands. Boiling from inside both skin had moistened with loose strands of blonde hair clinging to Pagan’s flushed face and hair weighted with moisture at Ajay’s hairline; the cheeks of his face ruddy red that traveled to the base of his neck. 

It was sloppy and almost uncoordinated though when figuring out a rhythm of their hips and adjustment of the pressure and position of their hands and it was phenomenally pleasurable as they were intoxicated with each other in every sense of the word. There was a chanting of each other’s names that were like a spell each were lost in and begged for in the most carnal of ways. There were no warnings or regard for them as both were lost in the overwhelming heat of the other. It was an erupting crawl of pleasure as they both came hard and loud; a slippery hot mess dressing their cocks and stomachs. It was a mess to be sure. Where semen touched skin it burned into their skin like a pact between mixing fluids. 

Riding out the peak of his orgasm Ajay gave a few fervent thrusts before he collapsed at the side of Pagan who had taken an arm over his face as he caught his breath. Only there quick breathes filled the room as they ate in each other’s satisfaction and waning desperation. Time stood still as they both came down from the orgasm high. Ajay laughed and Pagan moved his arm from his face to state over at the lad as though he’d gone mad. 

“Guess that’s the only way to shut you up.” Ajay had teased as the final heat had simmered out from his orgasm. Pagan had only ‘hmph’ed though he was amused by it as well; lips pulling into a smile. Ajay sat up to see they were heading into lunch territory time wise and got up from the bed. He took some tissues from the box on his nightstand to wipe himself as clean as he could though thick stains plagued the front of his jeans in a few splattered places. He did his best before tucking himself in. He discarded the used tissues and pulled more from the box to return to Pagan who hadn’t moved; still dazed as fuck. He was debauched with the aftermath of sexual flush still coloring his skin. It was a beautifully addicting sight to behold. Ajay wanted to see this again. Hungered to see Pagan so undone by his doing. 

Ajay pulled himself from his thoughts and wiped Pagan as clean as he could and as gently as he could though he felt Pagan’s muscle tense and flinch when wiping his more sensitive area. Some stains were dark in the fabric of Pagan’s pajamas which Ajay assumed were expensive but Pagan hadn’t the usual energy to even care about that. This was truly a victory for Ajay and he smirked with an air of confidence. 

“Gonna shower since the great Pagan Min is speechless.” With that Ajay grabbed a few toiletry essentials from his closet to do just that. Pagan hadn’t heard the almost arrogant quip as he was in his mind. He took a hand to his chin in thought. 

“I think I’ll need Gary to make another run.” His mind was loud as he spoke of needing more oils. If this was the result of it he only wondered what a back massage might do. Pagan’s mind finally caught up from the delay of Ajay’s remark and let out a breath of amusement. 

“Hm. Arrogant little shit.” Pagan said to himself with endearment. 

**Author's Note:**

> I struggled so hard to find an idea to write for this ship and I’ve been thirsty to write for it for a long, long time. With that said I spent far too much of my life writing this.
> 
> Why massage? Honestly, blame psychology articles. Also, I hope that this first FC4 fanfic in years is okay. I also hope it feels…in character? I had to go back into the game to remember some things but either way I’m glad to be done. I struggled a lot. I do not have a beta reader, write on my phone (because I hate myself) and even if I proofread hundreds of times I still miss stuff so sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> Anyway, feel free to critique or anything really, whatever thoughts. All are appreciated! Feel free to share ideas (nightlockedin@tumblr), would love to write more pajay content or whatever else I write for.


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